


Prank

by Heliocat



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Boys Will Be Boys, Card Games, Drinking, Friendship, Fun, Gen, Harmless fun, Napping, Prank On A Sleeping Victim, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27273760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heliocat/pseuds/Heliocat
Summary: Ash falls asleep on the sofa while his gang and Eiji hang out. He sleeps deeply and, after Eiji puts a cushion on top of him and he doesn't wake, they decide to play a harmless little prank on him.
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Okumura Eiji & Ash's Gang
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	Prank

**Author's Note:**

> The gang uses Eiji as a shield, and makes him do their dirty work. However, I truly believe that, deep down, Eiji is a little shit wrapped up in fluffy cute innocence! That's part of his charm <3
> 
> I'm English, so British English has been used for spelling and grammar. Stuff written <"like this"> is Eiji speaking Japanese.
> 
> Many thanks to Akimi Yoshida for creating Banana Fish - this is a work of fanfiction, so I own none of the intellectual property.

It started out with a cushion.

Some of the gang had gathered to hang out at the apartment. Kong and Bones were a near permanent fixture, but today Alex had joined them as well. They sat on the floor around the coffee table, playing cards with Eiji. They’d taught him how to play Blackjack, and were allowing him to place bets using peanut M&Ms because he didn’t have a lot of American money. Ibe had control of his funds from home, and Ash paid for everything in the apartment – Eiji would go out and buy food, clothing, and other supplies with an allowance Ash provided him for that purpose. They figured he probably wouldn’t understand the game and would lose, so to be kind they’d given him edible betting chips instead. They regretted that decision when the innocent Japanese man started fleecing them, and now had a large pile of candy and several screwed-up dollar bills in front of him, coupled with a large beaming grin.

“Beginners’ luck,” Alex muttered.

“Nah, I reckon he’s cheating,” Bones said, squinting as he eyed Eiji up. “He’s Asian, yeah? Bet he’s good at math. He’s countin’ cards!”

“I no cheat!” Eiji denied. “I may be Japanese, but I really bad at mathematic! I do not know what this ‘counting card’ is…”

“You really think Eiji of all people would cheat?” Kong admonished.

“Always the quiet, nice ones…” Bones hissed, but he did so with a smile.

Ash had opted not to play. He’d been busy all day in the library and running ‘errands’ around the streets, and was feeling tired. They’d half-heartedly tried to get him to join in but, when he declined, they were secretly glad; unlike Eiji, who really was just lucky, Ash could count cards like a pro, plus he could read them all like the books he coveted. Consequently, Ash rarely ever lost at cards, and would normally take them for everything they had without mercy. Instead, he had settled himself on the couch, sprawled out over the entire length, just chilling with them and listening to them argue quietly amongst themselves as they sipped beer and munched on pretzels and Haribo gummy bears. It wasn’t long before he drifted off to sleep, reclining on his back, head resting on the armrest of the couch.

The cushion fell off the same armrest with a dull thud, his head pushing it off as he moved slightly. Eiji, finickity about keeping the place neat and tidy, leant over on the floor to pick up the cushion. He scanned up and down the couch trying to find a gap between Ash and the back or sides of the sofa to pop the cushion in. Finding nowhere suitable, he shrugged and just placed the cushion on top of Ash’s chest. He heard the audible gasps from the other gang members as he lightly dropped the inoffensive piece of soft furnishing on the sleeping blonde.

“Dude – you got a death wish?” Kong asked him, wide eyed.

“Hmm?” Eiji looked genuinely confused.

“You just dropped a cushion on Ash while he was sleeping,” Alex said, wearing a slightly awed expression.

“You tryin’-a wake Boss up?” Bones whispered nervously. “You know how mean he is!”

“He not that mean,” Eiji said, frowning slightly. “And it not like I do anything bad. It just a cushion…”

“Just a cushion, he says!” Alex muttered quietly, sarcasm evident in his words.

“Eiji, my friend; you have some balls, man!” Kong told him, patting his back.

“He really not that bad when he get up!” Eiji insisted. “I do not know why you so afraid!”

“You’re the type of guy who’d happily poke a sleeping lion thinking it was a housecat,” Alex said, shaking his head in amazement.

“Nah, I think it’s just ‘cause the Boss likes him more than us,” Bones snickered. “Eiji’s safe! Boss wouldn’t dream of hurtin’ him!”

“He does sleep pretty deep though,” Kong said. “He didn’t even flinch with that cushion.”

“I wake him up every morning,” Eiji explained. “It always difficult. He sleep like rock.”

“First, wow. Just wow. You’re a fucking legend and I respect you – I would NOT want to wake Ash up once, never mind every day!” Alex said, looking at Eiji like he was a war hero. ”Second… when you say he sleeps deep, how deep is deep?”

“Sometimes I drag him out of bed onto floor and he still sleep,” Eiji explained. “I usually pull him into shower, that wake him up.”

“That’s pretty deep,” Kong said.

“If he sleeps that deep, why do I have no teeth no more?” Bones lamented. He’d never forget the singular occasion he’d been instructed to wake Ash up and the moody teenager had socked him in the face before rolling over and promptly going back to sleep.

“Because you’re not Eiji, that’s why,” Alex told him, smirking. He looked over at Ash, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Y’know, I always wanted to play a prank on a heavy sleeper…”

“What, like, drawing a penis on the face of someone passed out drunk?” Kong asked.

“Yeah, but, hilarious as it would be, I don’t think it’s wise to draw a massive dick on the Boss’ face,” Alex said furtively. “I doubt even Eiji could get away with that.”

“I would not let you do that to Ash,” Eiji told them seriously. “That just mean. I would stop you!”

“Eiji gets away with a lot of other shit though,” Kong pointed out, almost annoyed at the unfairness of it all.

“Maybe we could utilise that to our advantage,” Alex pondered.

“I wonder what else Eiji could put on him before he wakes up,” Bones grinned. He stood up and started scouting around the other chairs. He picked up two throw cushions, holding them up one in each hand. “This all the cushions?” Eiji nodded, and Bones chucked one of them at him. He carefully placed it on Ash’s stomach, while Alex and Kong sniggered. The third soon rested on his legs.

“Looks comfortable,” Alex snickered.

“Hey Eiji, think you could put this on him too?” Kong held up a box of tissues from the table. It was something light that wouldn’t be noticeable. He passed it to Eiji, and he put it on top of one of the cushions.

“Oh my God!” Bones snorted. “What else we got?”

Alex had a scan around and his eyes alighted on the daily newspaper Ash always read. He picked it up, passed it to Eiji, and soon it sat neatly folded on Ash’s lap. Eiji then added the hardback library book Ash had been reading on top of it. This time, Ash shifted slightly, and all of them froze, expecting him to wake up. He didn’t, and they breathed a sigh of relief.

“Gotta be careful with the heavier stuff, Eiji,” Kong warned him, but he handed him a second book which Eiji balanced atop one of the cushions on his chest.

The four of them rootled around the room, finding random little objects. Alex found a plastic snack bowl from the kitchen, and inside that was an empty beer can and a half-eaten packet of chips. Eiji balanced it on top of the newspaper and library book so it had a flat surface to rest on. There were several screwed up little bits of junk, like used food packets and the plastic shopping bag Kong had brought snacks over in. There were a couple of takeaway menus, a plastic houseplant, and a bunch of keys that nobody knew the locks for. Bones passed Eiji a VHS tape, which he added to the growing pile of random items on top of the sleeping gang leader. Kong got confident and unplugged the phone, handing the entire handset over. Eiji very carefully placed it on the couch near Ash’s head, but he rested the corded handset on his clavicle, so it looked like he’d passed out while making a phone call.

“He looks like he was drunk-dialling an ex,” Alex chortled, earning a few stifled guffaws from Bones.

They began seeking further afield for suitable items that weren’t too heavy or bulky. Eiji vanished into the bathroom and came out with a roll of toilet paper, putting it next to the box of tissues. Bones came out of the bedroom with the stuffed toy lynx Ash had won Eiji once in the arcade (Ash swore it was some other form of cat, just a generic spotty thing, but the pointy ears gave it away).

“You think you could make him hug it?” he asked, passing the toy to Eiji.

“What, like, lift arm?”

“Yeah – that’d look really funny!”

“Might wake him up, but I try,” Eiji shrugged. Very carefully, he leaned over and wrapped his fingers softly around Ash’s wrist, slowly and delicately raising the limb. He halted, standing stock still and holding his breath when Ash murmured and shifted in his sleep again, waiting for him to settle before continuing to carefully raise his arm enough to tuck the lynx under it. He slid the toy beneath his elbow, and gingerly placed the limb back down before backing off with his arms raised and shoulders hunched defensively. The other three were absolutely losing it off to the side, Alex with a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughs, Bones sniggering gleefully. Kong had brought Eiji’s camera over, and was now happily taking photos of the prank in progress.

“The others would love to see this,” he said, tittering.

“He’s gonna be so mad when he wakes up though,” Bones said lightly.

“We lay the blame entirely on Eiji – it’ll be fine!” Alex said reassuringly.

“Hey!” Eiji frowned. “That no fair!”

“You started it with that cushion!” Alex retaliated, pointing a finger at him accusingly. “Plus, he won’t kill you. Probably.”

“All I know is I’m standing waaaaaaay back when he starts to wake up!” Kong said, Bones nodding vigorously in agreement besides him.

“I think we’re starting to reach critical mass now,” Alex said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “I’m surprised he hasn’t woken up yet already!”

“Eiji wasn’t kiddin’ when he said he sleeps like a rock!” Bones replied, smirking.

“A bad-tempered boulder,” Kong sniggered.

Alex found the final item on the kitchen worktop; a small wicker fruit bowl. He removed the couple of rather sad-looking apples from it before handing it to Eiji.

“Challenge!” he crowed, puffing out his chest. “A hat for the Boss!”

“Hat?”

“Dare you to put it on his head,” Alex said, smirking.

“Oh my God, yes!” Bones sniggered. “Do it!”

“I try…” Eiji said dubiously. He approached Ash’s head, the fruit bowl upside down in his hands. He started to lower it over his face, but at that moment Ash moved just slightly, and one of the books overbalanced and fell off him with a dull thud. The noise was enough to rouse him, and he sleepily opened his eyes to find Eiji hovering over him, apparently trying to suffocate him with a piece of rattan.

“What the fuck…?”

Eiji squeaked, stepping back and coyly hiding the fruit bowl behind himself. The other three bid a hasty retreat, howling with laughter as they took shelter behind the doorframe to the bedroom. Ash, confused and groggy, looked down as a couple of other items fell off him with a clatter.

“The hell…?”

He picked up the phone handset on his chest with one hand, frowning at it. He frowned harder when he discovered the cuddly toy under his arm, and the succession of cushions and knick-knacks piled on top of him.

“What on Earth is going on here?” he growled, sounding more awake. More of the items tumbled to the floor or else got squished down by his feet on the sofa as he sat upright. He locked eyes with Alex in the doorway, his face like thunder, and his second-in-command immediately pointed at Eiji. He turned his attention then to the simpering Japanese boy, still holding the fruit bowl and trying to look innocent. “Care to explain why half the house is on top of me?”

“They challenge me,” Eiji explained, passing the blame straight back to the others. “We try get as much stuff on you before you wake up. It joke!”

“What, like, Boss Buckaroo or sommat?”

“Ehehehe,” Eiji laughed, sounding embarrassed and looking a little sheepish at being caught, but remaining remarkably calm. It had been harmless fun after all. The others, however, looked terrified, seeing Ash glaring and annoyed, afraid he may blow up at any moment. He probably still had his gun, and was usually mean as hell when he first awoke. Bones especially had gone very pale, a slight greenish tinge to his complexion, like he was going to puke in fear. He was cowering behind Kong. 

“That’s stupid,” Ash muttered, but his face softened. The others relaxed slightly, and he chucked the toy lynx at Eiji, forcing him to reflexively drop the fruit bowl to catch it with a quiet yelp. “I believe this is yours.”

“It was just a prank, Boss,” Alex told him anxiously. “You sleep pretty deep! It was kinda funny watching things pile up on you.”

“You guys are weird. Normal people just get a marker pen out and draw dicks on faces,” Ash said, shaking his head. He paused, eyes narrowing as he added, “You didn’t do that too, did you?”

“Eiji wouldn’t let us,” Kong assured him, smiling nervously.

“Makes a change, he’s usually a little shit,” Ash muttered, before the weight of those words sunk in fully, his brain comprehending them and not liking the interpretation. His head snapped around to his men, eyes flashing dangerously. “Wait – you mean to tell me you WOULD have done that if he wasn’t here?!”

“Oh, would ya look at the time! Guys, we should go,” Bones said enthusiastically, pretending to look at a wrist watch he didn’t own while slipping out of the bedroom and strafing the wall towards the exit, Kong tiptoeing after him. “We’ll see ya tomorrow, Eiji! Have fun tidyin' up!”

“Seriously, Ash, it was just a harmless little game – no damage done!” Alex squeaked, backing towards the front door after Kong and Bones. “Won’t do it again! Very sorry, Boss! See ya!”

The three of them scarpered, the door banging shut behind them, leaving Eiji and him alone.

“Bunch-a pussies,” Ash muttered grumpily.

“It was just joke, Ash,” Eiji said, starting to pick up the random objects and putting them away. “And I did start it. I put cushion on you, because it fell on floor. It was fun game -sorry if you angry…”

“I’m not angry,” Ash sighed, lobbing one of the cushions across the room back onto the chair. “I’m a little confused, but at least you wouldn’t let them brand me with a sharpie wang, so thanks for that.”

“They too scared to get near you anyway,” Eiji smirked.

**Author's Note:**

> You quite often see photos of people doing this to sleeping cats; piling little random things onto them to see how many they can do before they wake up. I thought it'd be cute to see the boys trying it with their Boss :D


End file.
